Five (finally)

Wow.. that year went by quickly and I cannot believe that I am five already. I sometimes longingly reflect on the good old days when I was four - Ah, those carefree times when a kid could throw a tantrum without consequences. Now, with great age, comes great responsibility ... and now that my freewheeling days of unfettered naughtiness are over, I am slowly preparing myself mentally for my fives ... I might be able to sneak away for an occasional tantrum or two, especially when my friends come over for a playdate .. but I think it is mostly down to a structured life of kindergarten, homework, gymnastics, swimming, soccer, good behavior and wholesome family fun.

Coming back to the fifth birthday - I had awesome birthday celebrations both at school and home and the associated overdose of all sugary things. Just to ensure a well balanced sugar diet, my parents got cake, candy, ice cream and for good measure some cotton candy as well (My dad called it "No sugar treat left behind"). (Wasn't it the Beatles that sang "All you need is sugar")...

So, let's see... what were the big happenings since the last blog post so I can have some semblance of a Timeline here? (Since I cannot join Facebook yet (officially anyway - I have not been able to convince my mom to fake my birthdate for Facebook purposes yet), I need to create my digital timeline the old fashioned way).

We went on a three week trip to India in winter - it was an interesting experience to say the least.
After a long flight (so long that I almost ran out of Dora episodes to watch) we landed in Chennai after a brief stopover in Hong Kong (which I believe was for reloading new episodes of Dora as the plane could not hold enough to make it all the way from SFO to Chennai). We went to my dad's old college
for his 20 year reunion. I had a blast chasing monkeys, spotting deer and generally running around randomly with a lot of other kids, while my dad went back to his his old college building and sat in his old lecture halls ("nostalgia tinged with masochism" he explained... I think it is either too much Tolstoy or too much Vodka). We went to the neighboring snake park and saw more snakes than you could shake a stick at (although that did not prevent the snake-keeper from trying to shake a stick at them). We spent another day in a beach resort near Chennai and that was a blast as well. The grown-ups had a party in the evening and I think they were mostly DUI - "Dancing Under the Influence"... and I hope my dad kept those YouTube videos private - otherwise, they would probably become YT viral hits for "Devolution of Dance".

We spent a couple of more weeks in Vizag, Hyderabad and Pune visiting friends and family and old monuments and museums. Everything in India was a stimulus overload (mostly a good overload) (the sights, the sounds, the food, the weather, the people - everything was amazing, colorful and interesting).

I also started learning to ski last winter. There is something inexplicably exhilarating about sliding down a smooth slope with no control and ever increasing speed till I crash into something tangible (which is made of foam most of the time, thankfully). We have also been doing a lot of hiking after the weather turned warmer - hiking is certainly less exhilarating for me and my sister but we go along as it seems to give my parents a sense of satisfaction to find new hiking trails every week. Somehow, the combination of good weather, easily accessible hikes and quiet evenings seem to soothe their (slowly fading) anxieties of high cost Bay Area living.

So, as I settle in for an activity-packed summer (movies, swimming, hiking, biking, travel, playdates, birthday parties) and look forward to starting my kindergarten ....Sweet dreams are made of these ... who am I to disagree...

At four (and change)

At Four (and change ...)

I entered my fours this summer and it looks like I have indeed entered the mid toddler-life crisis that everyone has been warning me about ... everything seems to be in a rut .. the same daily routine in pre-school, the same cereal (Honey Bunches of Oats - Just Bunches) every day, the same Dora series, the same weekend stuff (dinner parties, shopping, hiking, play dates), the same Gangnam dances .. life's got to be more than this.. I need to check out those Porsches everyone talks about.

So, to shake off the mid-toddler blues, I did what I learned from my mom (and the US Government)  – go shopping for things I don’t need with money borrowed from the future.  There is nothing like a few new outfits from OshKosh to brighten a dreary pre-K experience.

  

So, what else is happening? I am nailing all the checklist items for an above average desi kid (my dad said that it was the Lake Wobegon Effect that makes all desi kids above average – he is weird... he also blogs). I am reading well, writing well, dancing to Bollywood songs well and can do mango lassi shots. I watch a lot of Dora on weekends – I managed to convince my parents that Dora is “educational” because it teaches Spanish.

We have been traveling a quite a bit this year (my sister picked up this obsession with visiting as many new states in the US as possible with a goal of 50, I think. I believe my dad managed to convince my sister that there are only 23 states in the US now and that the deep South seceded recently from the US. So, we might be done with this gig fairly soon).

Earlier this summer, we went to Mt. Shasta, Crater Lake and Redwood National Forest for a long road trip. I stopped asking “Are we there yet?” after my mom showed me where we were on the GPS relative to our destination. Trust her to spoil a delightful stereotype. What’ll she tell me next – that an overweight, red-clad, aging Santa will not actually squeeze through our chimney and drop into our faux fireplace to place exactly wished-for gifts in hastily hung stockings on Christmas eve ? Hmmm… I wonder if mom’s insistence that Santa actually likes “a wet cappuccino with 1% frothed milk with a shot of mild roasted Starbucks coffee along with an almond biscotti” more than “milk and cookies” is a clue…

Anyway, we had a blast on our summer trip. We took many photos (way too many photos)….. (I don’t know when I will hear the last of my dad droning on …"in my day…. We had to think carefully before we pressed the trigger .. every shot was precious .. we had to frame the subject properly… the right optics, the right aperture, and right moment”….and I am not even sure if he is talking about photography or hunting… who puts that much thought into photography… I mean, really…. you just flip our your smartphone and press the blue button and fix everything in post…

Emboldened by the successful trip during summer (I overhead my parents congratulating themselves for their strong defensive tactics .. “we held the kids to less than 4 timeouts and 3 tantrums. The pivotal play was when Anukha was throwing a Hail Mary tantrum with her insistence on eating only noodles and we cleverly intercepted that with a YouTube "Tom and Jerry" distraction”… I was like… how many more days to Superbowl again? and this will hopefully end then …), my parents decided to another trip during Thanksgiving to Grand Canyon and Zion National Park.

We had a great time during Thanksgiving. We spent two days at Raji aunty’s place (a childhood friend of my dad) in Scottsdale, AZ and I had limitless fun and yummy breakfasts every day. We then drove over to the Grand Canyon, which was, like … big and grand. My dad said that the Grand Canyon is really gorges .. I think he meant "really gorgeous". I am finally beginning to learn more words that mean the same as awesome, nice and amazing. (It seems to give my parents a deep sense of gratification for those long drives if my sister and I go “Wow !! that was totally amazing.. I cannot believe it is so nice here.. it was totally worth it…” (especially the last part)).

After visiting the Grand Canyon, we headed over to ZionNational Park in Utah (after the obligatory photo that my sister had to take at the “Welcome to Utah” sign … eye roll).  Zion was really nice with very tall cliffs and lots of interesting rock formations (Aanya helpfully chimed in .. “Anukha, Anukha.. did you know that geologists are rock stars?”.. At this rate, I hope she keeps her day job).

After spending a day in Zion, we relaxed a bit that evening and headed over to Las Vegas the next day to fly out of there. Vegas was strange to say the least … they really have their geography and history totally messed up – they have Paris next to Venice which was next to New York, and ancient Rome is next to old Egypt that is next to some kind of medieval castle. And as if that wasn’t enough, there was an ugly looking gold-gilted building with strange letters “TRUMP” written on it. One would think that anyone who is associated with that ghastly monstrosity would choose to remain anonymous.

I saw that Vegas is the place for “just the right amount of wrong” … I am not quite sure what it means … but I had a feeling that it was not exactly a license to throw my fourth tantrum, so I stayed good for the rest of the trip.

That’s all for now.  Caio !!

At 3 and a half years...

So, what happened to the blogs for the last two and a half years? My ghost writer  (who also does double duty as daddy) has been slacking off (I wonder if the presidential primaries are around again... the last time they were around, my sister told me that her blog was left high and dry as well).


Anyhow, to rapidly fill you in for last 2.5 years - I essentially got potty-trained and party-trained. I have my own Anukhaisms now (which mommy cheerfully captures on Facebook and some are reproduced here at the end of this blog). 

Life is generally good for me - a typical weekday consists of a morning tantrum and a evening tantrum punctuated by a few hours at school (the period that my parents refer to as "value added outsourcing" - I am looking forward to a career in management consultancy to decipher that). School is a lot of fun - we get a few tasks (the teachers call them "jobs" - they must be one of those thankless jobs my dad grumbles about because I never get paid for my jobs), learn some stuff, read some books, nap a bit and go to the bathroom a lot of times. (No wonder my school is call pee-school).

After I come back home, I spend a couple of hours bothering my sister, coloring Hello Kitty coloring books and playing something that my dad calls Pictionary. (My doodles also serve as a Rorschach test for my dad - I wonder why his guesses are always "sleep", "food" and "TV").

I am looking forward to turning four ..... My mom keeps saying "You can have it when you are four"... or "You can do that when you are four"... (My dad says life beings at forty but methinks it really begins at four - maybe 4T my shirt size).  And I also hope they don't make the age target for fun stuff a moving one and push it out till I am like twenty three or something...

Much to the consternation of my parents, I scream and have my way with access to the iPad. I play tons of games but I am conflicted between "Angry Birds" and "Cut The Rope" for my favorite ... (I heard my dad say something similar about "The Rolling Stones" and "The Beatles"... choices .. choices...). For my fourth birthday, I want a cake that is "Angry Birds" first but when I swipe across the cake, it should become "Cut the Rope"....

Anukhaisms

iVelcro:
I was wearing her shoes and fixing the Velcro clasp when this conversation happened....
Daddy : Do you know what this called?
Me : Yes, Velcro Daddy (reflexively and without really expecting a response): Cool !! Do you know who created Velcro?
Me : Steve Jobs

Zero much:

I normally expresses my affection to my mommy with a sweet "I love you too much, mommy". This morning, however, I was cross with her and I indicated my sentiment with a sharp "I love you zero much, mommy".

Mufasa:

When daddy fast forwarded the portion in Lion King where Mufasa gets trampled in the ravine to avoid scarring me, I right away realized that something was amiss. The following conversation ensued ....

Me: Daddy, what happened to Mufasa?
Daddy: He became a star
Me: How did he become a star?
Daddy: He had an accident.
Me: Did he have a pee-pee or poo-po accident?



Grown-ups:


My dad (always trying to help me build character) asked me : "Anukha - what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Me: A grown-up


Christmas Miracle:

Me (excitedly) : Wow daddy, Santa got me exactly what I wanted !!
Daddy: Wow - look at that .. It is a Christmas miracle ..
Me : No daddy, it is a rocket launcher.

OK... that's all for now... Ciao.

Finally ... my first birthday

After what seemed like an eternity, my parents finally celebrated my first birthday with a big party .. about a month after my actual birthday (if this is indicative of how tardy my parents are, I wonder how delayed their taxes are (Editor's note: 4 months)).

Anyhoo, the day I was waiting for finally arrived. We had a nice big party at home with lots of kids and parents and grandparents. I mostly had a bewildered look but took in the colorful scenery and the buzz of activity. Unlike my older sister, I neither pooped nor threw up (see my sister's blog here that commemorated the special occasion.)

My dad ran around in a flurry of activity to keep the kids entertained (although the kids looked mostly entertained when he was not around them), ensure the parents were having a good time (again, the parents looked like they were enjoying themselves when he was elsewhere)and that everyone was was eating the food my parents over-ordered /over-prepared.

My uncle Murali did a great job with the new Cisco Flip 120-minute Flip camcorder (I hope those key words about the camcorder trigger some Google Ad traffic to my blog. I want to start paying down my diaper debt). My dad then stitched the videos clips together and posted it to YouTube. I can no longer tease my dad about not knowing how to post videos to YouTube. Speaking of which, the budding philosopher in me wonders .. "if a video is not on YouTube, does it really exist? " ... BTW, the video is now on YT here and the photos are here

My mom got me a Tigger - Pooh cake, thereby sucking me into the multi-billion dollar world of corporate merchandising. I did not eat much of the cake as I am still allergic to eggs. I asked my parents to save me a piece of cake so I can eat it when I am 5 years old and have gotten over my allergies (after reading about this practice among the British royals) but I am not sure I pressed my case strongly enough ....

I seem to be hitting most of the other developmental milestones like clockwork - I can now scream at an annoyingly loud level to get attention. I got my fingers squished in drawers. I broke a few toys already. I have 5 tiny teeth now and I use them on my dad's shoulder to remind him... and on a more innocuous note, I can finally walk about 20-30 steps and mumble about five or six words (almost) coherently . That's all for now. .....

Almost 11 months ....

If you were patiently waiting for my baby videos to pop up on youTube, there is good news .. my grandpa beat my dad to the youTube punch and uploaded a couple of videos to YT with his new Flip Camcorder before my dad figured how to do it with his old camcorder...i mean... camclunker. And also finally, if you searched for my name in YouTube, you no longer get results for some supposedly sultry and seductive Telugu actress (I will reserve my judgement on the S&S part) called Anushka. Instead you are now presented with wholesome baby videos that you can watch without installing the "Boss panic button".

Things are well otherwise. I now have a nanny called Madhavi and I enjoy being around with her. I am still a super fussy eater keeping in line with my sister's tradition. I finally mastered the task of standing up in a stable manner without wavering this way or that way... next task is to get those baby steps.

I am enjoying the crisp California spring weather with walks to the park and around the neighborhood... Life is good and getting better

At 10+ months

I am more than 10 months old now and I am lot more bubbly and naughty now. I am still way behind the weight percentile curve now (giving endless concern to my parents). My parents have now switched to a high-fat, high-calorie (high-yuckiness in my perspective) diet for me and they are adding butter to everything to help me put on more weight. My mom was like "You will not be able to eat such foods later in life.. so enjoy now, you little bubble". I hope to enjoy my new diet soon and I am still working on getting past the yuckiness quotient of all foods.

My grandpa and grandma left for Dallas (part of soon to be seceded country of Texas) and then on to England and back to India. I think I miss them but my parents are distracting me and keeping me occupied with a dizzying array of toys and YouTube videos. My other grandma and a new nanny Madhavi are taking care of me. The pampering continues....

At 8 months

I am 8 months old and it is time for an another blupdate (Editor’s note - blog update?). Things are generally swell with the little exception of this cold and wet spell in the Bay Area which is limiting my fun outings. I heard my dad complain about how the high cost of living in the Bay Area should entail  guaranteed great weather all year around, and then my mom reminded him of the great stock market crash and he immediately moved into this comfort zone of fretting about the economy instead of the weather.

I am now on the verge of standing up with support from some toys and my parents’ legs. I think I will skip the crawling phase and jump right to walking … (crawling is over rated, anyway). I am also developing a stranger’s anxiety and am refusing to let others hold me for any period of time (Actually, I extend my arms in a welcoming gesture and when they actually pick me up, I let loose a strong cry totally freaking them out and making them feel confused and inadequate – my dad said that was good practice for being a nice girlfriend when I grow up).


I have also expanded the range of solid foods that I am eating now (I hope my parents are paying close attention to that Salmonella scare out there) and I am beginning to develop a good taste for various foods. I kind of like the fruits and veggies (I hope they are not really healthy as I am looking forward to eating what they call “junk” food that my sister seems to eat all the time). Grandma and mommy are doing a great job feeding me patiently while daddy and my sister make goofy faces to hold my attention. I wish my parents would camcord themselves instead of me – I can guarantee that those recordings will be more memorable and “YouTube-able” than mine.

Oh I almost forgot, I finally started mumbling – I can now say “Mamamamamamama’ and “Thathathathatha” and am working on a few others. I gave my parents a few anxious weeks as I was behind the curve in starting to mumble. I was holding out to say a word like “antidisestablishmentarianism” but decided to give in after seeing my mom get all flustered. I hope to expand my mumbling vocabulary rapidly in the next few months and I will keep the readers posted of my progress.

OK then … I have now hit a blogger’s block and will return with more the next time. Ciao